… they would not know you.
It's like this at all primary schools, isn't it?
The parking outside the local school at 9am and 3:20pm is getting worse and worse, with people treating the no parking signs/lines as their own personal space. Or double (or triple) parking instead. Much easier than parking a few yards away and, you know, walking.
They've tried having a traffic warden attend – sadly not issuing tickets – as a warning. This worked. For about three days.
My personal solution, if I'm not alllowed to impose the death penalty, would be to make the children carried in the cars stand up at assembly and speak for five minutes on 'why my parents / guardians think the parking laws do not apply to them'.
A few months ago, there was a fuss in the Evening Standard about someone stickering 4WD cars with 'this car is killing the environment' stickers that were impossible to remove without damaging the paint. Apparently, you could get them by asking a hotmail address. Unfortunately, they didn't say which…
… 'cos I'd love to have some that say 'I don't give a shit about other people's children'.
Banned in the UK
In looking for the backups for my Brain, I've refound a sketch that was banned by the Lord Chamberlain. He (or, in practice, his staff) was in charge of stage censorship in the UK until it was abolished in the late 1960s.
It was intended to be in a show called 'Guarding the Change' at – I think – the Lyric Theatre Hammersmith, and turned out to have been written by Clive James (there's a comment about it in May Day was in June)
Britannia:
Our dearest & most beloved subjects, people, compatriots and allies.
It pleases us to be here in your country especially in this dear & well-beloved season of the spring /summer /autumn /winter in order to carry out our duties at this investiture /opening /funeral /wedding /signing of death warrant.
We declare this bridge /dam /arsenal /baby farm open /closed /independent /abolished /knighted.
Let Empire /Commonwealth /Loose Association of Nations with common interests /partners in trade /bitter enemies rest assured our thoughts /good wishes /carpet salesmen /aircraft carriers are on their way towards you.
And so on this beautiful morning /afternoon /evening, what else is there to say, but hallo /how-do-you-do /goodbye/ well done /arise Sir Robert Menzies!
Hmm, hardly desparately dangerous stuff, but obviously too disrespectful of royalty for 1965!