To some people's amusement, I've long lusted after Stephen Hendry, the best ever snooker player. (How good is he? Well, the most centuries in a season record is his. Who's second? Erm, Stephen another year. And he's third. I think he's still fourth too, and quite possibly fifth.)

I've done so since before his first world championship in fact. Over all those years, he's been in some incredible matches – one against Jimmy White in the late 80s stands out for me, where frames were taking six or seven minutes – but oh what a semi-final! And what a second semi-final to go with it.

Let's hope the final's half as good. Provided Stephen wins 🙂

Microsoft have a list of which software they've decided to stop supporting, along with a suggested replacement. My favourite so far is

software: CPM/80 Operating System (erm, just when did MS write that, as opposed to steal from it?)
stop date: 01-Jul-1999
suggested replacement: Windows

Oh and you should replace your Edit for CPM/80 with Notepad, but your Multiplan 1.06 for CPM/80 (a spreadsheet) with Excel… for Macintosh.

Other oddities include Cinemania 94 and 95 being supported for longer (until October) than Cinemania 97 (stopped 1st April), while Win98SE is supported until 30th Jun 2004, the version of IE it shipped with is already unsupported, Word/Win 6 is ok, but not Excel 95 or Access 95…

…and that no version of MS-DOS is listed.

http://support.microsoft.com/default.aspx?scid=fh;en-us;lifecycle

Like Budapest, London is two cities, split by a river. OK, they don't have separate names. But just try getting from one side to the other at the moment. Read more

We finally got around to watching this yesterday – good stuff. I remember one reviewer saying the first half was 'boring' but I'm afraid I liked it too.

It's reminded me of why, despite some attempts, games on history like this and the First Crusade don't really work — to reproduce the actual events in a proper sim, you'd have to do the equivalent of roll 6s constantly. If it hadn't happened, you wouldn't believe it.

The day Microsoft stop making products that suck is the day they start making vacuum cleaners.

… they would not know you.

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The parking outside the local school at 9am and 3:20pm is getting worse and worse, with people treating the no parking signs/lines as their own personal space. Or double (or triple) parking instead. Much easier than parking a few yards away and, you know, walking.

They've tried having a traffic warden attend – sadly not issuing tickets – as a warning. This worked. For about three days.

My personal solution, if I'm not alllowed to impose the death penalty, would be to make the children carried in the cars stand up at assembly and speak for five minutes on 'why my parents / guardians think the parking laws do not apply to them'.

A few months ago, there was a fuss in the Evening Standard about someone stickering 4WD cars with 'this car is killing the environment' stickers that were impossible to remove without damaging the paint. Apparently, you could get them by asking a hotmail address. Unfortunately, they didn't say which…

… 'cos I'd love to have some that say 'I don't give a shit about other people's children'.

In looking for the backups for my Brain, I've refound a sketch that was banned by the Lord Chamberlain. He (or, in practice, his staff) was in charge of stage censorship in the UK until it was abolished in the late 1960s.

It was intended to be in a show called 'Guarding the Change' at – I think – the Lyric Theatre Hammersmith, and turned out to have been written by Clive James (there's a comment about it in May Day was in June)

Britannia:

Our dearest & most beloved subjects, people, compatriots and allies.

It pleases us to be here in your country especially in this dear & well-beloved season of the spring /summer /autumn /winter in order to carry out our duties at this investiture /opening /funeral /wedding /signing of death warrant.

We declare this bridge /dam /arsenal /baby farm open /closed /independent /abolished /knighted.

Let Empire /Commonwealth /Loose Association of Nations with common interests /partners in trade /bitter enemies rest assured our thoughts /good wishes /carpet salesmen /aircraft carriers are on their way towards you.

And so on this beautiful morning /afternoon /evening, what else is there to say, but hallo /how-do-you-do /goodbye/ well done /arise Sir Robert Menzies!

Hmm, hardly desparately dangerous stuff, but obviously too disrespectful of royalty for 1965!