… but I've just noticed some people on the .com have a little "badge" on their customer reviews.

I've seen the "top n reviewer" ones. This one is new to me: "real name" and means that the user name is – gasp – their real name. (To be more precise, the name on a credit card, which is apparently the same thing.)

What drew my attention to it was that it actually says is "REAL NAME^TM".

Yep, Amazon are claiming a trademark on "real name".

As well as their paper directories, they're dead keen on selling internet advertising.

Apparently, they can GUARANTEE #1 placing on google.

The first sales droid wasn't too clear on how they'd do that, and never did fax over the exciting information promised.

But this afternoon's one – she's about the third in the past couple of weeks – did eventually fess up that they're talking about AdWords, although they don't call it that, rather than genuine listings.

I demonstrated to her that we're already #1 on the genuine listings for both our current (having edged out a site devoted to forthcoming theme park ride – 'Secret Weapon 5' – anyone apart from H-L know what that's more famous as without googling it?) and past names, and said that in any case we had zero interest in paying Thomson any money…

"Well, I'll give you another call in eighteen months, and you'll wish you'd paid us then!"

So there's this security alert going on near Stockwell – someone's left a burger box on a bus, probably – and there's road closures and diversions and three policemen have spotted something in a bag by the side of the road.

You can tell they're a bit concerned, talking into their radios, wondering if that really is the smell of hair dye and is that bump a mobile phone.

Then along come the bin men who walk past the police and chuck it into the back of the dustbin lorry. It's bin day for that bit of Lambeth…