I had a letter from Parcelforce at work yesterday. It was from Kevin King, who is apparently my local Parcelforce Worldwide Sales Executive, telling me how in the past two years, they have completely revamped their company and invested in the latest leading-edge technology and software which has dramatically changed the service they offer!

Oooh.

And what's more, if we open an account with them they'll deliver my first parcel absolutely free!

Oooh.

One catch though: the account must be opened and the first parcel sent by 30th October…

Oh. For a second there, I was expecting their service to have, you know, improved, because I didn't believe it was possible for it to have got dramatically worse… but evidently it is.