L, 9, writing from a week-long school trip to a farm:
Today we cleaned a cow yard today and it was sort of liquidy but some was dry and in lumps. It was really good, it was a paddling pool of poo! Maybe yuk, but
FUN!
You walk, or run, down the yard with your scraper in your hands and push it into that paddling pool of poo otherwise known as the POOlantic Ocean!
Clearly, there isn't enough poo under the table… 🙂
The lovely Linette is not the only person to have been shivering outside in the cold tonight.
I'd agreed to put some curtain rails up for someone, after someone I know made a complete bodge of it. So I drive to their new (as yet unoccupied) flat, park, and get the necessary stuff out of the car. Keys in hand? Yes, lock the car.
Ah.
These are the flat keys, not the car keys, aren't they? Where are the car keys? Why, still in the ignition…
So I do what I can at the flat, then have to walk to L's, without my coat (guess where that is!) or money (ditto…)
45 minutes later, I get the spare set of car keys – thanking my wisdom in getting them cut – and quickly go back to the car via bus and scooter.
The journey involves passing a 24-hour supermarket at a petrol station. Walking past the first time, I saw someone begging outside it. I don't usually give money to beggars despite (because?) I've ended up sleeping on the streets a couple of times in the distant past. But this time, I drove into the petrol station and gave them all the change I had…
Accountant: '.. the stock market would have to rise 600 or 700% for [the fund] to pay off.'
Reporter: '700% That's seven times the current price! '
Accountant: 'Yes.'
Ian: Sigh…
In case you haven't heard – John Major and Edwina Curry had an affair for four years while they were both in Thatcher's government.
Am I the only person to remember that he sued a magazine – Scallywag – out of existence when they printed a story that mentioned rumours that he'd had an affair (with someone else) but said they weren't true? Just mentioning them was enough for him to reach for his lawyers… He also sued their printers and distributors – these paid up and, per their contract, passed the costs onto the magazine. How to win a libel action without (much) risk.
Hooray.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/2241234.stm
Radio 4's PM said 'she was the only woman in Mrs Thatcher's cabinet…'
Some aliterations from the local primary school – it's a great pity I can't show the pictures that went with them!
Enormous elephants eat elegantly every evening in expensive eat-all-you-cans.
Dolphins demonstrate difficult dance steps to disorganised dogfish.
Obnoxious ostriches order opaque ointment to overcome old age.
Dangerous Daisy disco dances dizzily on the dishwasher.
I was thinking, in part because of the BiCon 2002 DIY disco, what was the most obscure album I have.
It's probably BRIAN BRAIN- "Unexpected noises", which turns out to be the product of two ex members of Public Image Ltd. I bought it because the cover was good – a man falling from an office block! But the music… Here's a review from the web:
'This first Brian Brain album was truly a milestone. It encapsulated all that was Brian Brain. To say that it bordered on the mediocre would be a gross exageration. There were some unquestionably awful tracks on this album, including "They've got me in a bottle" "Asthma game" "Jet boats up the Ganges" and the title track "Unexpected noises" If you ever get a chance to listen to this album, make sure you are sitting down first because you will fall over laughing if you don't. As a wag from the music press stated at the time "This is the worst band I have ever heard in my life" [Pete] Jones played on several of these tracks and would give him nightmares for years afterwards.'
"Bottle" was the first single: 'Using studio time allegedly "borrowed" from Cliff Richard, it is the result of a couple of very late night sessions when self indulgence ruled. Only the bass solo saved the track from total anonimity. Also now a rarity, if you do come across a copy, immerse in boiling water and make an ashtray out of it. This first [Martin] Atkins release was an early indication of his remarkable talent for his voice sounding shite.'
Don't buy albums just because the cover is good, that's all I'm saying.
Apparently, last week's Pink Paper – owned by the Mardi Gras owners – confessed that only 28,000 (of a possible 85,000) tickets were sold.
YES! YES! YES! Death to Mardi Gras!
Unfortunately, it looks as if Mardi Gras 2000 Ltd – still naughtly overdue in sending last year's accounts the last time I looked – will go the way of its predecessor and the shits who effectively took away our community owned Pride will escape too much financial damage and try again next year.
And remember these were the men who refused to help when Pride went under owing about £50k, because they said the event needed to be run by proper businessmen.
A fan site for the designers reveals something surprising…
Air Top speed: 47 mph, G-force: 3.5 G, length: 2,756 feet.
Nemesis Top speed: 50 mph, G-force: 4 G, length: 2,349 feet
So Air is only slightly slower than Nemesis. It doesn't feel like that at all…
In comparison, Oblivion Top speed: 68 mph, G-force: 4.5 G, length: 1,222 feet. Short but sweet 🙂