Someone left a copy of the Sun on the tube this morning, so I had a look through. Crap, crap, crap, columnist Jon Gaunt: "Why didn't Reid deport these criminals at once? blah blah… scrounging toe rag… froth froth."

And there's another bit: "Years ago, when the first nuclear missles arrived at Greenham Common, I marched around Coventry city centre with a coffin on my shoulder." (He's now repented – "WE NEED OUR NEW NUKES" – and thinks North Korea would believe we'd drop some on them. Exactly how we'd do that, given Trident's range, is unclear.)

Hang on – Jon Gaunt… Coventry… mid-80s… he was the guy behind Tic Toc ('Theatre In Coventry, Theatre Of Coventry')! A quick Google, and argh, it's true.

Tic Toc were great! They won 'Fringe Firsts' and 'Pick of the Fringe' awards for his anti-Thatcher plays. Hooligans won most awards, but Holiday '85, featuring an adapted Sinclair C5, was even more fabulous. I did a video project with them… and now this!

Argh, the shame, the horror!

Incidentally, did anyone else see the programme where various people who proclaimed themselves to be '100% English' had their DNA tested… with predictable results?

I only saw about two minutes, where Gary Bushell – another leftie who went rabid and was rewarded with a Sun column – got his and discovered that 8% of his DNA is Sub-Saharan African. "If you were racist, this would be quite a shock." Indeed, Gary, indeed. And it was great to see you get it.