Coming up to a set of traffic lights, this hideous blue box of a three-door hatchback zooms past, a bit too close for my liking. It's a G-reg (Americans: about fifteen years old) with custom exhaust and various other 'vroom-vroom' accessories.

As there's a queue and the lights are still on red, the idiot has to stop quickly.

I overtake, get to the head of the queue and turn right then left onto a long straight road… with speed bumps of the 'island' or 'lozenge' type: along the road there are about a dozen rows of them across the road, with gaps in between.

The gaps mean a) cyclists aren't bothered by them and b) if you're in a car and travel carefully, you can go over them with minimal bumping about.

Just as I'm going through the first set, along comes Mr Hideous – BUmp buMP – ha! Because I'm in the gap, he "has" to go over them. (Of course, he could, you know, slow down, but…)

And a combination of someone in a Merc not wanting to damage his suspension/underside, plus some accurate positioning by yours truly, means that this is repeated on every single set. A-ha ha ha ha…