Today's was from someone who's being charged under section nine of the Sexual Offences Act 2003. While talking to them, I check just what that is… ah, sexual activity with a child.

Just let me run this past you to check that it's not just me… 

You give a lift to a young man, who starts masturbating in the passenger seat. You ask his age, he says 17, and you give him a blow job. Afterwards, he tells you that he is, in fact, 14.

You know you're ok – they're not under 13 and you had a reasonable belief that they were at least 16.

But under what circumstances do you see them again?

a) Never ever ever

b) Only in a public space with some other adults present

c) Well, if they turned up at your door alone, you'd let them in

…

OK, for some strange reason – there's an odd story – you pick c)

They go into your bedroom, strip and start masturbating again. You go into the room, and try to get him out, but he tries to fuck you against your will. Fortunately, he fails to penetrate but comes over your bum. He then goes.

What do you do?

a) Report the attempted rape to the police

b) Make damn sure there's no forensic evidence of the sex

c) Do nothing much until you're arrested the next day

…

You don't need to have seen Rashômon to know that people don't always tell you the whole of a story, especially one involving a sexual crime, but these are just the most odd bits of his story.

Even though the 14 year old apparently has 'form' for this sort of thing and is currently not available to give evidence, I think he's stuffed.